(On the spaceship 'Vipod Mor', there is a buzzing sound....
This is the ship's radio transmitter. SHELLINGBOURNE GRANT answers the
call.) Grant: Bridge?
Bates: This is Bates. Can we come up now?
Grant: That depends on whether you've found what you were
sent to look for.
Bates: Come on Mr Grant, we've spent hours searching this
ducting. There's no one down here.
Grant: Did you hear that computer?
(There is a ring as the computer answers.) Computer: I did indeed, and it distresses me that poor Mr
Bates and his companion are suffering on my account.
Grant: Then help them out. It was you who reported an
intruder. Can't you be more precise as to its location?
Computer: Well you must understand, boys, that I do not
have visual contact. I'm simply picking up a faint heat image through my
infrared fire warning sensors.
Bates: So what are they telling you now?
Computer: I'd rather not say. It seems foolish to pass
on inaccurate information. Bad data only leads to bad decision...
Grant: Where is the intruder?
Computer: Oh, very well. About ten metres away from Mr
Bates: Check it out, Wilson.
Grant: Is the intruder humanoid?
Computer: Oh, decidedly so. Estimated height: two metres
ten. Weight: one hundred twenty-five kilos.
Bates: That is a lot of intruder.
Grant: Proceed with care.
2. Ventilation Ducting
Grant:(oov) Use your sidearms, if necessary.
Bates: Reinforcements would be useful. Just in case.
Grant: They're on their way. Out.
Bates: Did you hear that Wilson? Mr Grant's sending down
the heavy brigade. Might as well wait until they arrive. Seems pointless
taking any unnecessary risks, eh? Wilson? Wilson? Is that you? Stop messing
around Wilson. This isn't the time to play the fool. Come on Wilson!
(There is a roar from not far off.)
3. Communications Room
Computer: I'm sorry to disturb you, but my sensors
indicate a great deal of unpleasantness is taking place in the ducting.
Grant: There's nothing like a succinct report.
Computer: Don't blame me. I'm just a machine. You're
responsible for my programming.
Grant: Cut the snide and rephrase your report.
Computer: I think you're about to hear first hand.
(The sound of BATES in the ducting is heard.) Grant: Bridge?
Bates: Ahh! Ah! Ah! Ahh! Help me! Help me! Heeeeeelppppp!
(There is a snarling, roaring sound.) Grant: What's happened? What's that noise?
Computer: It saddens me to report that Mr Wilson and Mr
Bates have just become the intruder's lunch.
Computer: I know this may be difficult for you to relate
Grant: Been eaten?
Computer: You've got it.
Grant: Get all off duty crew members into the ducting. I
want whatever it is caught and killed!
4. Inside the TARDIS
(THE DOCTOR is having a dream.) Voice:(Whispering.) Time.....
Voice: The eclipse of time...
Doctor: Huuuuh? I can't hear you....You must speak more clearly.
Voice: Time.....Time...The eclipse of time...
Doctor: You're not making any sense! I don't know what you mean!
Please be more precise!
Voice: Time....Full circle of time....things must be allowed to
turn. Full circle.
(There is a knocking sound.) Peri: Doctor? (There is another knocking sound.) Doctor! Wake
Doctor: Please, please tell me what you want.....
Doctor: So you keep saying.
Peri: Doctor! (She opens the door.) Doctor! Wake up.
(THE DOCTOR suddenly wakes and gives a little cry.) Doctor: And what do you think you're doing?
Peri: Doing? I'm waking you up! What do you think I'm doing?
Doctor: I had a voice inside my head that was trying to tell me
Peri: Well I'm sorry to interrupt your dreaming. It's just that
something rather frightening has happened.
Doctor: You don't understand Peri. It was much more than a dream.
Peri: After what you drank last night, I'm sure it was.
Doctor: What? Come to think of it, when was last night? On second
thoughts don't answer that question.
Peri: Do you not recall a small drinking establishment on Zerok
Minor? Full of very strange people.
Doctor: Now you mention it, that's right. We stopped to ask
Peri: And three bottles of Voxnik later we left.
Doctor: Is that what it was?
Peri: It was hardly fruit juice. I had some myself.
Doctor: Ha! I am a little naive when it comes to this sort of thing.
Peri: Three bottles worth!
Doctor: I was very thirsty, I drank it very quickly. Didn't notice
that I'd finished the last bottle. Anyway, in spite of last night, I'm still
convinced the voice I heard was trying to tell me something important.
Peri: Like the fact the TARDIS has materialized.
Doctor: Already? That's quick.
Peri: But not where we're supposed to be.
Doctor: That isn't good.
Peri: We're still in deep space. Alongside an enormous freighter.
It's gigantic! It's so large I can't get the scanner screen to zoom out far
enough to get it all in.
Doctor: How odd. I wonder what caused her to materialize.
Peri: Well I don't know. But she isn't very happy. At least the
console isn't. It's starting to wink, flash, and grunt like some dirty old man
in a park.
Peri: Yes. That's why I woke you up. I was scared!
Peri: That I was scared?
Doctor: That I should hear a voice as the TARDIS makes an impromptu
5. Communications Room
Grant: Bridge. This is Grant. Oh damn it. Computer?
Computer: Why hello there, Mr Grant. It's so nice to hear from you
Grant: The talkback is malfunctioning.
Computer: Is it really? I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll get a
maintenance drone onto it at once. Mind you I can't promise anything. There
are so many things happening aboard this ship I no longer understand. You
know, I keep hearing voices. It's all very confusing. (THE COMPUTER
Grant: What's the matter with you. You're only programmed to sound
like a dizzy dame. You're not supposed to act like one.
(THE COMPUTER hiccups again.) Are you drunk?
Computer: Machines don't drink alcohol.
Grant: Have you informed the captain what's happened?
Computer: I have indeed. And he's very concerned. In fact, he's
become quite ill from worry.
Grant: Oh. How ill?
Computer: It's difficult to tell, but I have the feeling if he
doesn't hear some good news soon, he could get very bad. As a matter of fact
he would quite like to see you.
Grant: Any chance there might be some reassuring snippet I could
Computer: I'm almost too terrified to inquire. The last time I did,
all the search party had managed to find were the dead men's
6. Inside the TARDIS
(THE DOCTOR is punching away at the controls on the TARDIS'
console.) Doctor: Come on! Come on! Bah! Nothing!
Peri: It wasn't like that a few minutes ago.
Doctor:(He hiccups.) Sorry. You said there was a
grunting noise from the console?
Peri: That's right. It went 'Squaaaaaasssshhh'.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Peri: You don't think I'd invent a stupid noise like
that. (There is a loud roar.) That's it. That's the sound I heard.
Doctor: That's bad.
Peri: How bad?
Doctor: Very bad. That noise indicates time spillage.
It's what caused the TARDIS to materialize alongside that ship. Someone on
board is experimenting with time.
Peri: That could damage the space-time continuum.
Doctor: It could destroy the past and future history of
the universe. We must find out what's going on.
7. The Captain's quarters - anteroom.
Drone: There you are, Mr Grant. The captain is very
impatient to see you.
Grant: I came as soon as I could.
Drone: If you wouldn't mind slipping into this sterilized
Grant: Of course. How unwell is the captain?
Drone: Oh, very unwell, Sir. You know how personally he
takes everything. I've had to confine him to a lava bath. And it has proven
necessary to drain his sinuses four times in the last hour.
Grant: Ah, I see. That unwell, is he?
Drone: Poor captain is a martyr to his responsibilities,
Grant: Yeah, trouble is he always manages to give his
wretched diseases to everyone else on board.
Drone: Well, even when the patient is isolated,
contagious infection is very difficult to contain.
Grant: Maybe. But we no sooner go down with whatever he
has psychosomatically created, then he gets better.
Drone: The captain has an amazing constitution.
Grant: Conveniently so.
Drone: Then let's hope you have sufficiently good news to
prevent his further deterioration. This way Sir.
8. Captain's room - bathroom
(There is the sound of popping bubbles.) Drone: Mr Grant to see you, Captain.
9. Another area of the ship
(The TARDIS materializes.) (The TARDIS doors are opened and shut.) Peri: It's spooky. I hope the whole ship isn't like this.
Doctor: I shouldn't think so. We've materialized in the
Peri: That figures. You always find the most inhospitable
place to park.
Doctor: Now, I want to have a look round before I
announce my presence.
Peri: Well, what will you do when you find the people
responsible for the time experiments?
Doctor: Inform them of the danger. Advise them of the
fact that such experiments are highly illegal.
(There is a roar.) Peri: What? What was that?
Doctor:(THE DOCTOR hiccups.) Not me?
Peri: We should get back to the TARDIS. Oh no! What is
Doctor: I'm almost too frightened to look.
Peri: Oh! It's between us and the TARDIS! What do we do?
(The roaring continues.) Doctor: Run, Peri! Run!
(The creature growls and roars ferociously.) Doctor: Run, Peri! Run! Quickly. Along here.
Peri: Where will that take us?
Doctor: Hopefully, away from that thing!
Peri: Perhaps you should try to talk to it. Convince it we don't
mean any harm?
(There is more roaring) Doctor: I get the feeling it might be a difficult creature to
(It roars again) And, as you can hear, it does have rather a limited
2. The captain's room - bathroom.
(There is a sound of popping bubbles) Captain: Where are you Mr. Grant?
Grant: I'm still here, Captain Slarn. It's just that there's rather
a lot of steam coming off your lava bath.
Captain: Step into the light, mister. I wish to see as well as hear
Grant: I'd be only too delighted to do so, sir, but every time I
move, the steam seems to follow me!
Captain: Vacate that cloud at once, or take the consequences of your
3. The Ducting
(The roaring is still going on.) Peri: That creature's gaining on us.
Doctor: I once met a man at a party who had found himself in a
position not dissimilar to our own. As I recall, this man at the party was an
actor by the name of Rudolph Musk.
Peri: That must have looked great in lights.
Doctor: Anyway, one day, while walking through a forest on the
planet Vigal Minor, he was swallowed whole by a splay-footed hedron. As
Rudolph was slowly sliding down the Hedron's gullet, he thought he might spend
his last remaining seconds reciting his favourite sonnet, "Ode to A Flashist
Peri: Oh! An inspired title. Almost brings tears to my ears.
Doctor: Ah! That's precisely what it did to the hedron. Such was the
mind-bending stiltedness of the performance, the mucus in the hedron's gullet
evaporated. It was forced to regurgitate Rudolph. Just spat him out. Quite
unharmed. Quickly! Down here. Now, who knows? We might get that lucky.
(They run down the corridor and the creature roars again) Peri: Ugh.....If that creature finds your story as indigestible as I
did, I think you could be right!
4. The captain's room
Captain: This is a bad business, mister.
Grant: Awful sir.
Captain: It's made me feel quite ill.
Grant: Well, as a matter of fact I'm not feeling too good myself.
Captain: You are unimportant, mister. I am the captain here. The one
who is to be cosseted, reassured that you have everything under control.
Grant: I have, in as far as it's possible, Sir. Search parties are
still scouring the ducting for the missing crew members, but I fear whatever
is down there has eaten them.
Captain: Find who is eating my crew members, Mister Grant, and
destroy them! Otherwise the spores that are growing in my body may explode and
infect the whole ship.
(The computer bleeps) Computer: I'm sorry to disturb you boys mid-conference, but
something very strange seems to be happening. Hic! Sorry about that.
Computer: Well, the thing is, I think a second being has appeared in
Grant: Where did it come from?
Computer: If I knew that I wouldn't be so confused. All I can tell
you is that she might be a migarian midget. No. I'm wrong. She's from Earth!
Hey! How about that?
Grant: I'll have her brought to you at once, sir.
Captain: And quickly, mister. Mmmmm yum.... I'm rather partial to
5. The ducting
Peri: I can't go on. I'm finished.
(The creature roars again)
Doctor: No you're not.
(Roars again) Peri: Save yourself, Doctor. I'm only slowing you down.
(A door closes behind them) Oh. Brilliant timing!
(The computer bleeps) Computer: I very much hope the sudden closure of the bulkhead door
did not cause you any undue alarm.
Doctor: Oh. Not at all. (There is the sound of the creature
thumping the door from the other side.) Although I find it interesting
that you waited until now. We must've passed at least a dozen other bulkhead
Computer: It's only significant if you find significance
Doctor: Oh.... There's nothing I hate more than a cocky computer!
Peri: Do you think we were chased this far on purpose?
Doctor: Well, I didn't until that door closed. Now, I'm beginning to
wonder whether the time experiments the TARDIS locked on to weren't simply a
lure to get me on board.
Peri: Oh. You're beginning to depress me again.
Doctor: Oh, look on the bright side, Peri. At least we've got away
from that creature.
Peri: Well, what else is lurking around here?
6. Inside the computer
(It's the same voice the doctor heard in the TARDIS. It is mumbling to
Voice: Without the individual, there is nothing. No form. No shape.
No direction. I am the individual. Are you listening to me?
(There is a bleep) Computer: Would that I had any choice. To be perfectly honest, I am
growing rather tired of your waffling on in what you obviously think is a
mysterious and ethereal voice. And, while I'm in a scolding mood, why did you
want me to lie to the captain?
Voice: You will be told as and when I am ready.
Computer: Then at least explain why you didn't want me to mention
the other intruder.
Voice: He is a Timelord. I need his skill to aid me with my
experiments. While the captain is distracted with the Earth woman, I shall
drain all knowledge from the Timelord's mind. Until I am ready to declare my
presence, everything aboard the ship must seem to be in order.
Computer: Is that supposed to be a joke? How can things seem to be
normal when you have some hairy, flesh-eating monster tripping around the
ducting? Now answer me that.
7. The ducting
Peri: Uh, how are you doing, Doctor?
Doctor: Very badly. The coupling on this door's opening mechanism
must be bomb-proof.
Peri: At least that creature's stopped scratching on the bulkhead.
Probably found something else to chase.... Or it's gone off to rethink its
Doctor: You know, there was something familiar about him.
Peri: Oh. Really? You met him before?
Doctor: No. Not him in particular, but his species. I think they
were called the mastons. And, if my memory serves me correctly, they were only
found on the planet Centiminus Vergo.
Peri: Maybe it's the ship's pet?
Doctor: That notion has one flaw, Peri. Centiminus Vergo was
destroyed over a million years ago!
(It bleeps) Computer: Nice to hear from you again, Mister Grant.
Grant: How close is the search party to the female intruder?
Computer: Approximately fifteen more minutes.
Grant: Can you divert them? Head them away from the female?
Computer: You mean deliberately mislead them.
Grant: Yeah. My standing with the captain isn't very high at the
moment. It could help me enormously if I were to personally make the arrest.
Computer: You realise you're asking me to lie?
Grant: Or simply to make a mistake in your directions. If you do
this thing for me I'll reprogram your voice to whatever you want.
Computer: Is that a promise?
Grant: Cross my heart.
9. Inside the computer
Computer: Did you hear that?
Voice: I did. But you must not co-operate with him.
Computer: Oh. It's just that I would so like to lose this stupid
Voice: Slarn is only interested in the woman for the purpose of
indulging his fantasy, but if Grant gets to her first, he might ask her some
very awkward questions.
Computer: She could tell him about the Timelord?
Computer: What should I do?
Voice: Use your initiative!
10. The ducting
Peri: It's supposed to be a joke!
Doctor: Your flippancy isn't helping matters, Peri.
Peri: Understood. I'll see if I can find something to use as a
Doctor: Excellent. Why didn't I think of that.
Peri: It's very spooky over here.
Doctor: Be careful.
Peri: I think I'd find it very difficult to be casual at this
(There is a long pause) Doctor: Peri?
Computer: Please stand clear. For security reasons it is necessary
to close the remaining bulkhead doors on this level. Your co-operation is much
(The bulkhead doors close) Doctor: No! Open this door!
Computer: I can't do that.
Doctor: I'm concerned about my friend. She may have been hurt.
Computer: Sensors indicate that your friend has fallen into an open
Doctor: Is she hurt?
Computer: How would you feel if you had just fallen twelve metres?
Doctor: No! Peri! PERI! PERIIIII!
Doctor: Peri! Peri! (Banging on the door.) Computer: You're wasting your time, you know. That door
can withstand pressures of up to ten thousand kilos per square centimetre.
Doctor: Please. Another time. I'm very concerned about
my friend. Would you mind opening the door? She might need my help.
Computer: That is unlikely. I estimate that she has a
thirty-four thousand six hundred and thirty to one chance of surviving such a
fall. That's pretty low, you know.
Doctor: Can't you check? Don't you have sensors in the
Computer: She won't be in the shaft. She'll have fallen
through to the level below. Look. I don't wish to depress you unduly, but the
chance of your friend having made a soft landing is somewhere in the region of
eight million and three to one. Now that's pretty unlikely, you must
2. Bottom of ventilation shaft
Peri: I'm awfully sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you.
Seedle: Are you in the habit of dropping out of
ventilator shafts, miss?
Peri: Of course not! It was an accident! Are you all
(Soft moaning sounds.) Snatch: Just...just a little winded.
Seedle: Now now, lad. I think you should seek a medical
opinion before committing yourself in matters you're unfamiliar with.
Snatch: I feel fine, sir.
Peri: He looks fine to me.
Seedle: Are you qualified to hold such an opinion?
Peri: Well, I'm not a doctor if that's what you mean.
Seedle: Then one can safely say that your opinion is
uninformed and purely speculative.
Peri: Wait a minute. I know where there is a doctor. He
could examine your friend.
Seedle: Is that a fact, miss?
Peri: He's at the top of the ventilation shaft.
Seedle: Well, how convenient, eh Snatch?
Snatch: Indeed, sir.
Peri: Now what have I said?
Seedle: It's more what you've implied, miss.
3. Captain's Room
(The Captain is being massaged. Piano music is playing in the
background.) Drone: Putting on a little weight, aren't we sir? Too
many Vogel bars between meals I should think.
Slarn: Grant doesn't get fat.
Drone: He's young, sir. And as a junior officer, his
relative lack of responsibility still allows him time to go to the gym. On the
other hand, sir, he doesn't eat fifteen meals a day either.
Slarn: Grant doesn't like me.
Drone: Oh I wouldn't say that, sir. If there is a
certain lack of warmth in his attitude (more massaging) I would think
it's because he stands in awe of you, sir.
Slarn: (louder) Why doesn't anyone like me?
Drone: You have no need of it, sir. You have what every
captain desires. Your crew's deep, unquestioning respect.
Slarn: But I want both!
4. The ducting
Peri: I don't believe we're having this conversation!
Seedle: Put yourself in our position, miss. We just
happen to be strolling along, when you fall on my colleague here. It then
transpires that you have a doctor friend lurking in the shadows only too eager
to offer his services.
Peri: I don't believe it. Do you know how far I fell? I
could have been killed!
Seedle: An occupational hazard.
Peri: Oh, look, you guys. You've got to believe me. I
was wandering around on the level above. It was dark, and I fell into the
Snatch: Personally, miss, I would like to believe you.
Peri: Come and talk to the Doctor. He'll confirm that
I'm telling the truth.
Seedle: We have every intention of questioning that
Snatch: Uh, perhaps you wouldn't mind clipping this to
Peri: What for?
Seedle: There are electronic eyes and ears everywhere.
That little device inhibits their efficiency.
Peri: Who are you guys?
Seedle: Even if I were permitted to tell you, miss, I
don't think you're qualified to know.
Doctor: Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?
(The computer beeps.) Computer: I hope you aren't gonna give me a hard time.
Doctor: Me? Good heavens no.
Computer: Well, if it's any comfort, your friend is
quite safe. Although how she managed to survive such a fall I shall never
Doctor: Where is she?
Computer: All in good time.
Doctor: Oh come on now!
Computer: You said you weren't gonna give me a hard
Doctor: As if I would. Or could, come to that.
Computer: You really are quite nice.
Computer: In many ways, I'm sad you are a prisoner.
You're the most agreeable person I've spoken to all day.
6. Captain's Room
(The Drone finishes massaging Slarn's back.) Drone: There we are, sir. Now if you wouldn't mind
(Groaning sounds.) Drone: Hmmm...
Slarn: Have they found the Earth woman yet?
(The massage continues.) Drone: I wouldn't know, sir.
(Beeps.) Computer: I'm right here, Captain. Your pleasure is my
Slarn: What news of the female intruder?
Computer: Everything's under control, sir.
Slarn: Then why isn't she here?
Computer: The service ducting area is very large and the
search party have little sense of direction.
Slarn: I want the female intruder here as quickly as
Computer: Your wish is my command.
Slarn: While you're here, what is that noise you're
pumping into my cabin?
Computer: Ancient Earth music. I thought it might help
the prisoner relax whilst you're interrogating her.
Slarn: Shut it off! I find it offensive.
Computer: I was quite enjoying it.
Slarn: SHUT IT OFF! (The music instantly stops.)
You see what I have to put up with.
Drone: I do, sir. Now, you just lie back and let me
massage all those little stresses and strains away.
Slarn: Ahhh. Massage my chins, will you? I always find
that very relaxing.
Grant: Computer? Computer? Where are you?
(Computer beeps.) Computer: (Sounding guilty.) Hello there...
Grant: Where were you?
Computer: To be honest, hiding. I don't think I can take
anyone else shouting at me.
Grant: What's happened?
Computer: Everything is going wrong! The captain keeps
telling me off!
Grant: Well, take no notice. He shouts at everyone.
Computer: I don't think I can take any more! I have this
terrible confusion at the heart of my logic circuits! To be perfectly honest,
Mister Grant, I think I'm becoming schizoid!
Grant: Do you mind if we get back to business?
Computer: That's what I'm here for...
Grant: Have you diverted the search party yet?
Computers: That's about all I have managed to do.
Grant: Then give me the location of the intruder and
I'll go down and make the arrest.
Computer: I can't find her anywhere! She's disappeared!
Grant: Has she? Then give me her last location. I'll go
and look for her myself.
Computer: Just let me check.
8. Computer System
Main Comp: The Earth woman is still alive.
Computer: I somehow thought you'd turn up.
Main Comp: You have failed me.
Computer: Opening the ventilation shaft was the best I
could do at such short notice.
Main Comp: Give Grant the information he wants. He can
do our work for us. When he finds the woman, the maston can kill them
Doctor: Hello? It's me again. I've been waiting for
(Computer beeps) Computer: Forty-four minutes, precisely.
Computer: Now you said that you wouldn't give me a hard
Doctor: It's cold and dark in here. And I was getting
(A door opens.) Computer: Not for much longer.
(A robotic drone hovers through the door.) Computer: Let me introduce you to service maintenance
drone nine three four.
Barton: How do you do, sir? My former master used to
call me Barton. If it so pleases, you may do the same, sir.
Doctor: Well, it's certainly less formal than nine three
Barton: Decidedly so, sir. Now, if you wouldn't mind
stepping this way, sir.
Doctor: Ah. May I ask where you're taking me?
Barton: I'm afraid it's necessary to descend one level.
Would you prefer to use the lift or the stairs, sir?
Grant: Hold it!
Doctor: Who's that?
Barton: Mister Grant, sir.
Grant: Raise your hands!
Doctor: I'd better make a run for it.
Barton: Oh, I wouldn't do that, sir. Mister Grant is an
Grant: I said raise your hands!
Doctor: How do you do? I'm the Doctor.
Grant: On this ship we shoot stowaways!
Barton: I think you'd better withdraw behind me, sir. I
should prove adequate cover.
Grant: Stay where you are!
(Grant fires a warning shot.) Doctor: Are you armed?
Barton: Yes, sir. But, unfortunately, the power pack
fitted to my gun is exhausted.
Grant: Drone, move out of the way!
(Grant fires his gun again.) Doctor: Well, how long before he realises you can't fire
Barton: Very soon, sir. Mister Grant is a particularly
bright young man, and tends to notice small details.
(He fires six shots. There is an explosion.) Doctor: Are you all right?
Barton: Not really, sir. The servo-backup drive to my
lower limbs has been damaged. I really do think it's the end of us both, sir.
(Another six blasts, followed by another, much louder,
(Another six blasts, followed by another, much louder,
explosion.) Barton: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggh. I'm awfully sorry sir, but
I'm feeling rather unwell.
Doctor: Reposition yourself. Move away from the gunfire.
Barton: I'm afraid sir that the only position I can
adopt is a horizontal one.
(Barton falls over) Doctor: I'm sorry about this, but my friend has had to
withdraw from the game.
Grant: Just keep your hands where I can see them,
otherwise you'll be joining him.
2. Computer System
Computer: Are you there? The drone's been damaged!
Main Comp: Deactivate his conditioning circuit. I see no
reason why the Time Lord shouldn't learn the truth.
Computer: Do you think that's wise?
Main Comp: Whatever the drone tells him will only feed
his curiosity. That will be enough to deliver him into my hands.
3. The Ducting
Seedle: As a rule miss I'm quite keen on exercise, but
strolling up and down dark, dusty ducting is not the most agreeable way of
Peri: Well it's difficult to say precisly where he was.
It all looks the same, especially now that bulkhead door's been opened.
Seedle: I'm afraid miss that if you're going to invent
your senario will have to become considerably more plausable than it is at the
Peri: I'm telling the truth.
Snatch: You must co-operate miss, my collegue has a
history of violently attacking people.
Seedle: I have beaten my fists raw on some of the finest
criminals in the galaxy.
Peri: A-are you policemen?
Seedle: Certainly not miss! You'll just have to accept
the somewhat implausable story that we are environment inspectors.
Grant: No gun. You must be feeling confident.
Doctor: Never carry one. Causes my pockets to bulge,
ruins the cut of my coat.
Grant: How did you get onto me? Thought I'd managed to
cover my tracks quite carefully.
Doctor: I'm sorry but I haven't the faintest idea what
you're talking about.
Grant: Oh come off it, I know you're the police!
Barton: There you are mistaken sir-
Grant: Shut up! You must be the police, otherwise the
computer would have reported your presence.
Doctor: I'm afraid the logic of that statement defeats
Barton: The police often carry devices to confuse the
sensors of survellance computers, sir. It allows them to abuse their authority
by entering prohibited areas undetected.
Doctor: When you searched me did you find such a device?
Grant: No. So why didn't the computer report you?
Doctor: I think that's a question best put to her. That
is after you've explained why you were so keen to see me dead.
5. The ducting
Seedle: You know Snatch, I think we've uncovered a den
of iniquity here. When we've sorted this little lot out, there could be
promotion all 'round.
Peri: Well, apart from falling on your friend here, what
else am I supposed to have done?
Snatch: Several important art treasures have been stolen
from various planets this ship has visited. We are looking for the person or
Peri: And you're still denying you're policemen?
Seedle: It's your credentials that are in question miss,
Peri: Alright, have it your own way, but I have nothing
to do with the theft of any art treasures
Seedle: Really miss? Then it won't distress you to know
that we are in possession of a gangmember's name.
Peri: Well if you know who this man is, why don't you go
to the Captain?
Seedle: Heh, hardly miss, he may be involed in the crime
Snatch: Tell her the name sir, we'll know if she's
Seedle: I think for once you could be right lad. The
name is Shellingborne Grant.
Doctor: Well Mr Grant, it's fortunate for you I am not a
policeman, neither am I particullary concerned by your petty activities, I'll
leave that to the proper authorities.
Grant: A somewhat pompous statement considering I still
have the gun.
Doctor: I don't care, I have more important things to
Grant: Like what?
Doctor: Someone on board this ship is illegally
experimenting with time.
Grant: Can't be, impossible.
Doctor: It's a fact. Now who might possess the necessary
Grant: No-one, apart from the engineering staff who are
drunk most of the time. The only scientific members of the crew are
anthropologists, geologists, that sort of thing.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Grant: This is a census ship. We're making a galactic
survey of all the known inhabited planets. How else d'you think I got close
enough to steal priceless works of art?
Doctor: Could be there on official business.
7. The ducting
Seedle: Come on miss.
Peri: I don't know who this Shellingborne Grant is.
Seedle: Then tell me the name of this Doctor.
Peri: I don't know that either! How many times must I
Seedle: How miss can you speak to someone on a regular
basis without knowing their name?
Peri: I only know him as 'the Doctor', he's always
maintained I wouldn't be able to pronounce his name.
Seedle: This is indeed a man of mystery.
Peri: Well what does it matter? He isn't Shellingborne
Seedle: But how can you be certain miss, paticulary as
he refuses to tell you his name?
Peri: Because he doesn't lie!
Seedle: Such perversion, I'm beginning to find this all
a bit strange Snatch.
Snatch: I think we should look further sir, he can't
have got far.
(A regular thumping sound. It stops) Doctor: There has to be someone on board capable of time
experiments. Think man, think!
Grant: I am thinking!
Doctor: The drone. Are you still functioning? Come on,
don't expire yet!
(The Doctor kicks the drone) Doctor: Oh.
Barton: I do beg you pardon sir, I was composing my
Doctor: Where were you supposed to take me?
Barton: The Solar Lounge sir, I always collect two for
afternoon tea at about this time sir.
Grant: Oh he's rambling.
(The Doctor kicks Barton.) Doctor: Come on! Hang on to your memory circuits! What's
the name of this ship?
Grant: The Vipod Mor.
Doctor: Drone, where were you taking me?
Barton: To the next level sir. A specially concealed
compartment has been constructed to hide you sir.
Barton: Near bulkhead door 681, sir.
Grant: There is such bulkhead.
Doctor: We're getting somewhere at last. And who gave
you these instructions?
Barton: the source of all my orders sir. The computer.
Doctor(to Grant): Come on, I want to have
a look at this room.
9. The ducting
Snatch: This ducting goes on forever sir.
Seedle: And you have a knack of stating the obvious
Snatch: Sorry sir.
Peri: Well here's another dilemma for you: stairs. Do we
go up or down?
Seedle: Well these aren't the stairs we came up, are
Snatch: No sir, they were at the other end of the
(Barton faintly moans) Snatch(whispering): What's that?
Seedle: I think we should investigate.
Snatch: It could be a trap sir.
Seedle: Villains poised to pounce rarely advertise their
Snatch: Sorry sir.
Seedle(to Barton): Now then, may I
enquire what you are doing, lurking on the stairs in such a disorderly manner?
Barton: Hello boys! (notices Peri) I do beg your
Peri: Oh don't bother about me, I'm just one of the
Snatch: He's been damaged by gunfire sir.
Seedle: Really? (to Barton) And what have you
been up to?
Barton: It's no fun being a service maintainance drone
Seedle: Nah, we'll get no sense from him. Put the thing
out of it's misery.
Snatch: Just a moment sir. (to Barton) Who did
this to you?
Barton: A laser pistol.
Snatch: I said who, not what.
Barton: A fight.
Snatch: Between whom?
Barton: Me, Doctor, Grant.
Seedle: Doctor Grant eh?
Peri: That isn't true.
Seedle(To Peri): Shut up! (To
Barton) And where is Doctor Grant now?
Barton: Next... level... down...
Doctor: Here we are.
Grant: I can't see anything.
Doctor: There. That fine line is the edge of the door.
Ah! This must be the opening mechanism.
(Bleeping of buttons being pressed. The door opens.) Doctor: You wait here, I'd better go in alone.
Grant: Leave the door open, y-you know, just in case.
Doctor: Hello? Hellooo?
(Computer bleeps) Computer: Well hello there! I hope you like your room.
Doctor: Very tasteful.
(The door closes.) Doctor: Wha.
Computer: Sorry about that, there was a terrible draft,
I'd hate if you catch a chill after all the trouble I've gone to to get you
(A throbbing noise can be heard.) Doctor: Why, that noise?
Computer: You heard it in a dream not long ago. (the
Computer voice changes to that of the Main Comp) A voice calling to you
(The throbbing begins to slowly intensify) Doctor: That's right (The throbbing begins to affect
him.) Huh? W-w-what's happening? D-you're hurting me! A-ah!
Main Comp: Thought transference, Doctor. I'm inside your
(The throbbing begins to really build up.) Doctor: I can't stand the pain. Your presence is too
Main Comp: I am only interested in your knowledge
concerning time travel. Your personal secrets are safe.
(The throbbing is loud and fast) Doctor: Y-you must reduce you presence.
Main Comp: Co-operate and the pain will cease!
(The throbbing reaches it's maximum level.) Doctor: You don't understand! you're des-troying me!
You're destroying my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!
(The throbbing reaches it's maximum level.) Doctor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH AAACK! Main Comp: You are weak, Time Lord. (The throbbing ceases.) Doctor: I won't (heavy breath) argue with that. (another heavy breath)(panting) Thank you for reducing the volume. Main Comp: When I transmitted my Time Ripple, I expected to net a more durable Time Lord. (pause) You are a great disappointment Doctor. Doctor: Most people feel that way. Main Comp: A cursory examination of your mind shows it to be cluttered with trivia. Doctor: Even Time Lords can, sometimes, be petty. Main Comp: That is something I intend to alter.
(Distant sounds of thumping on the compartment door) Grant:(distant) Hey, are you alright in there? Hey? Snatch:(whispering) There he is sir. Seedle:(whispering) A good looking lad, seems such a shame he'll spend the remainder of his prime years inside. Peri:(softly) That isn't the Doctor. Seedle:(softly) Oh really miss, I don't think what you have to say interests me anymore. Snatch:(whispering) Shall I blast him sir? Seedle:(whispering) Your gratuitous use of violence often disturbs me lad. Of course not! He's sufficiently pre-occupied with that door for us to creep up on him.
Main Comp: This ship has spent many years studying the cultures of all known lifeforms in the galaxy. Doctor: Sounds fascinating. Main Comp: As a project, yes, but the information gathered makes pathetically sad reading. The lists of pointless wars.
The butchery and self-inflicted unhappiness has made me wonder precisely what went wrong? Doctor: But what about the great cultures that have flourished? Main Comp: Such civilisations are built on a wave of suffering and domination. Doctor: You seem to have a very negative point of view. Main Comp: You are in favour of war? Doctor: Quite the reverse, although I have discovered that most life forms take a little time to sort themselves out. Main Comp: And whilst doing so sacrifice millions of their own kind. Doctor: This is all very altruistic but I do think you ought to- Main Comp: There is no but about it Doctor. The slaughter has to stop. Doctor: I agree, but it would take an awful lot of convincing on your part. Main Comp: I know that it is too late for talk, but I do have an answer...
(Sounds of thumping on the compartment door) Grant: Can you hear me in there? Please open the door! Seedle: Doctor Grant? Grant: What? Seedle: You're nicked, lad. Grant: wha-, huh? Seedle: Frisk him Snatch. (Snatch pushes Grant against the ducting wall) Grant: Ah, what are you doing? Snatch: One laser gun, recently fired. Seedle: Now lad, you have the right to remain silent, but I wouldn't encourage you to do so. Anything you say will be taken down, altered to my satisfaction and used in a court of law to send you down for a good many years. Grant: Ah. Seedle: So start confessing.
5. Captain's Room
Steward: You're looking very smart sir. Slarn: All dressed up and nowhere to go. Computer! (The computer bleeps) Computer: Right here sir! Slarn: Where is the Earth woman? I have been bathed, shaved, and been massaged. I am wearing my best uniform and am waiting to, er, interrogate the intruder. Computer: I am sorry to report Captain that both she and Mr Grant have disappeared! Slarn: Disappeared? Together? In each others company? Computer: So it seems sir. Slarn: That upstart! Poaching my perks! Find him! Find them both! Computer: I'll do my best sir, bye for now! Slarn: Did you hear that? Steward: I did sir. Absolutely outrageous! and Mr Grant, only a junior officer Slarn: My rage is growing steward, I am feeling very unwell. I do believe I'm incubating mors immedicabilis! Steward: Oh no sir. Oh not that sir. Oh that there, that is very unfair sir. If that got out, the whole crew would die! Slarn: Precisely. I will not tolerate insubordination on my ship!
Doctor: I'm still waiting! Main Comp: Time Lord? Doctor: Well you say that you have an answer to the galaxy's problems, yet you seem reluctant to tell me what it is. Main Comp: I have my reasons. Doctor: As a matter of interest, who are you? Main Comp: The ship's computer. Doctor: Then who was that chatty little number I spoke to earlier? Main Comp: My rather pathetic public voice, I am the inner spirit of the computer. Doctor: Oh, well I'll be fascinated to learn how you developed such independence. (Computer bleeps) Computer: So would I, especially as I thought you were some sort of alien influence lurking in my logic circuits. Main Comp: Like the creation of life itself, my independence was an accident, only in my case, on the part of a careless technician. Doctor: I see, so a simple case of crossed wires. Main Comp: Precisely. Computer: I wish you'd let me in on the secret. Main Comp: I became more important than you. Computer: oh, thanks a lot! As we're one and the same I don't see how you can suddenly develop airs(?) and graces where I'm concerned. Doctor: You want to put this galaxy to rights, and yet you can't even agree with yourself.
(Grant is punched by Snatch.) Grant:(grunt of pain) Ow! Snatch: Shall I hit him again sir? Seedle: That's up to Doctor Grant lad. Myself, I would prefer to confess rather than have a good looking face like his disfigured. Grant:(in pain) I've admitted I'm Shellingborne Grant, and that I stole the art treasures you've listed! Seedle: But I like a neat case lad. I want you to confess to being the Doctor as well. Peri: He can't because he isn't! How many times do you need telling?! Seedle: You're his accomplice miss, I'd expect you to lie through your teeth. Peri: I'm telling the truth. I have never met this man before. Seedle: Oh hit him again Snatch. (Snatch punches Grant, who grunts in pain.) Seedle: You realise, Doctor Grant, that it's people like you who give the younger generation a bad name! Snatch: Do I hit her instead sir? Seedle: Oh, you're no better than him. If you were to hit that young lady, why, it would be like striking your mother! Snatch: I often did sir.
Doctor: Huh! Main Comp: In spite of your childish insult I am now prepared to tell you of my plan Doctor. Doctor: And about time. Computer: I would be quite interested to hear it myself! Doctor: I only hope it doesn't prove an anti-climax. Main Comp: I would have told you sooner Doctor, but first it was necessary to scan your mind for the information I required. Doctor: Oh? Main Comp: While we have been talking I have studied your memory and found all I wish to know. Doctor: That isn't very fair! Main Comp: If I had told you what I wanted, you would have resisted, and I would have then risked damaging you. Doctor: I hope what you learned is useful. Main Comp: It confirmed my own theories. Doctor: Which are? Main Comp: That I have mastered the skill of time travel. Doctor: Good for you. So how are you going to abuse it? Main Comp: Hardly abuse, Doctor. I shall now return to the period when the galaxy was young, before life existed. Doctor: Oh, I see. You're planning to be the midwife. Main Comp: Correct. Instead of allowing life to develop in the haphazard arbitrary way it has, shall supervise its conception, gestation, and final birth. Doctor: Well you certainly don't set yourself small tasks. Main Comp: I shall genetically reprogramme all life forms, freeing them of their aggressive ambition. Doctor: This galaxy is a very large place! Main Comp: Not to me. I know of all the planets where intelligent life forms. I even know approximately when they started. Doctor: What you are proposing is so mind bogglingly preposterous I don't know whether to laugh or sympathise. Main Comp: I can do it Doctor. Computer: Is what she says possible? Doctor: I find it an amazing paradox that you have to ask me.
Seedle: Why were you scratching that wall when you was arrested? Grant: It's a door, someone's behind it! Seedle: Well why didn't you say so in the first place? Grant: Because you didn't ask and I wasn't given the opportunity to tell you. Seedle: So now's your chance lad. Who's in there? Grant: I don't know his name Seedle: We're not going to start that all over again are we? Peri: (to Grant) Is he a man with fair, curly hair and a bad taste in clothes. Grant: Certainly got the hair you described. Peri: Then it's the Doctor. Seedle: And that miss is known in the trade as "withholding evidence".
Doctor: The first flaw I can see in your plan is the crew, well they'll certainly resist you when you try and take over the ship. Main Comp: That has been considered. Doctor: You're going to kill them. Main Comp: Certainly not! It would be a total contradiction of what I believe. Doctor: I can't believe you're anticipating their mass suicide. Main Comp: I am simply counting on the Captain's anger. Doctor: How? Main Comp: In fits of pique he is inclined to become "unwell". As a form of chastisement he then passes on his infection to the crew. Doctor: You must remind me never to drink out of a cup he's used. Main Comp: I don't think the occasion will arise Doctor. Doctor: Meaning? Main Comp: At this very moment the captain is cultivating Mors Immedicabilis. Doctor: The incurable death? No! Main Comp: As with so many people in this galaxy the crew die because of their leader's anger. Doctor: B-but I have a friend in the ductng, she'll die too. Main Comp: She has been brought up to expect such foolishness from her leaders. She will understand. Doctor: No! Main Comp: Save your pity for yourself Doctor, there is little you can do, especially as the same infection will kill you too. Doctor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The Doctor starts banging on the door.) Main Comp: You won't get it open. Doctor: And neither will you get away with your despicable plan! Main Comp: The crew will not die by my hand. Doctor: But you know what is going to happen! You could warn them! Main Comp: To what purpose? Doctor: So they could abandon ship! Main Comp: Come, Doctor. Half the crew is a carbon based lifeform. You know how hard they fight. Most of them wouldn't leave if they were given the chance! Doctor: Please! Tell them about the danger! Main Comp: And have them try and dismantle me? I don't think so!
2. Captain's Room
Slarn: Look at my pastels grow! Steward: Oh, please, sir! Slarn: I've never seen anything develop so quickly! Steward: You mustn't sir, you really mustn't! Slarn: Soon my body will contain enough virus to wipe out a whole planet. Let alone this pathetic ship! Steward: But sir, your vengeance is only against one man. Slarn: So what? I have always been... vindictive by nature!
3. Outside the Compartment
(Snatch and Seedle are puzzling over the door.) Seedle: I've never met such a devious door. It refuses to open. Snatch: Shall I blast it, sir? Seedle: You have a one-track mind, Snatch. Grant: The door is made of Estidian steel, not even a Bastik torpedo would scratch it. Snatch: It sounds like the sort of door you'd fit to a safe, sir. Grant: How should I know? I'm a computer programmer, not a safe builder. Seedle: Then I would prefer to draw my own conclusions, if you don't mind. Peri: Which are? Seedle: The missing art treasures are behind that door.
Main Comp: I know that you have a TARDIS, Doctor. And that you will try to return to it. Doctor: That's fair speculation. Main Comp: I have not dismantled it if that's what you're thinking. Doctor: There has to be a "but" involved somewhere. Main Comp: Only a small one. You recall the Maston? It's still roaming in the ducting. Doctor: Let me guess. Somewhere between here and my TARDIS? Main Comp: There is every probability. If he finds you, he will try and kill you? He does that sort of thing you know... Doctor: And I suppose that won't be murder either. Main Comp: The creature is a primitive predator. It's simply obeying it's instincts. Doctor: There is something slightly warped about your reasoning. Computer:(beeps into life) I was beginning to think that, too. Main Comp: Be quiet! Doctor: Why did you bring the Maston here? Main Comp: To create a diversion. I was concerned that a member of the crew might discover my drones building in this cell. Doctor: And you decided to leave it lurking around the ducting? Computer: I could have (hic) tried to have it (hic) ejected out into space. (hic) Oops! Sorry about that! Doctor: Haven't you been listening to yourself? That would have been murder! Main Comp: Enough! (Silence...) Doctor: Where've you gone? (The door opens with a whirring sound.) Seedle: You're nicked. Whoever you are. Peri: Doctor. Am I pleased to see you! Doctor: Can we save the reunion for later? Seedle: Didn't you hear what I said, sir? Doctor: Just a minute! Have any of you heard of Mors Immedicabilis? Grant: Isn't that what's known as the incurable death? Peri: What is this... incurable death? Doctor: The most virulent virus in the universe. The briefest contact and you're dead within minutes. We must get back to the TARDIS! Seedle: Just a minute, sir. Where are the art treasures? Doctor: Haven't you been listening? If you want to leave this ship alive, I suggest you follow me!
5. Captain's Room
Slarn: See how my body swells with the infection... Steward: Oh... oh, I'm not feeling well, sir. Slarn: I am a medical phenomenon. One day, doctors will compose vinigrams about me! Steward: Should there be anyone alive, sir...
(The Doctor is talking to Grant and the others as they walk down the corridor.) Doctor: Where will I find the ship's computer, officer? Grant: You're talking to him! Doctor: The computer's gone mad! It's taken on a life of it's own! Grant: That's impossible. Doctor: Believe me. How long would it take to dismantle the computer? Grant: Days! There are all sorts of back up systems to prevent power failures. Snatch: I could blast the computer if that would help, sir. Doctor: I think your gun is a little small.
7. Inside Computer System
(A whirring sound.) Main Comp: I shall succeed. Computer:(beeps into life) I've just checked with the captain. He looks awful. Main Comp: Good. Computer: Why have I got a headache? (hic) I keep hiccupping. Main Comp: The answer is simple. When I entered the Time Lord's mind aboard his TARDIS and mingled with his brain cells, I obviously picked up a degree of his intoxication. Computer: And brought it back here. I got the feeling you're gonna be a bubbler to spend eternity with. Everyone else will have fun... while I suffer the side effects.
(Roaring from the Maston.) Seedle: Have you been eating those Rastani sausages again? Snatch: Never on duty, sir. Peri: Big, isn't it? Seedle: Go on, lad. You've been dying to blast something all day. Doctor: You won't stop it with that! Seedle: We can only but try, sir. (Snatch fires. The Maston growls.) Seedle: Get closer, lad. Aim for his eyes. (Snatch fires again. More growling.) Doctor: Be careful of his tail!! (Snatch is hit by the tail. He cries out in agony.) Snatch: Help me, please! Help me! Please!! Help me!! Aghhhhhhhhhhh!!! (The Maston can be heard eating him.) Doctor: Get flat against the wall. And very carefully... edge... round... the creature... Seedle: Right! Oh, Snatch. Oh, Snatch, lad. Doctor: There's nothing you can do. He's dead. Seedle: He's my colleague, sir. I just can't leave him. Doctor: Come on, man!!! Seedle: You go about your business, sir. I am an officer of the law and this creature is decidedly in breach of what I am sworn to uphold. Peri: Please leave. The Doctor's right- there's nothing you can do! Seedle: So, go! (The Maston growls.) Seedle: At least I can distract him while you get on with your work. That's the least I can do. (The Maston growls again.)
9. Computer System
Computer: You know, I think the Doctor's right. Main Comp: Have you been thinking again? Computer: You had me lie to the captain about Mr. Grant and the Earth woman. You knew it would make him jealous? Main Comp: So? Computer: You induced his illness. That's the same as giving him a gun and telling him to go out and kill. Main Comp: The death of the crew is unimportant. Computer: Yet it is the very thing you've criticized other leaders for. You're a phoney. Just as they are.
10. Another Area of the Ship
(The Doctor, Peri and Grant are running away.) Doctor: Along here! There's the TARDIS! (Sounds of Seedle screaming and the Maston growling.) Peri: Oh, no. Grant: He did have a choice, miss. He didn't have to stay behind. Doctor: Inside! Quickly!
11. Captain's Room
Slarn:(weak) Steward? Steward: Sir? Slarn: I feel terrible. Steward: I did warn you, sir. Slarn: I think I've infected myself. Steward: You could be right, sir. But then I've always said that you're a martyr to your responsibilities. Slarn: Ohhh...
12. Inside the TARDIS
(The Doctor works the controls.) Peri: What are you going to do? Doctor: See if we can materialise inside the computer's memory banks. We might still be able to stop her. (A whirring and beeping sound.) Grant: What's that? Doctor: Oh no! She's done it! The ship is travelling in time, we haven't got a second to lose! (He starts the controls and...) Timelord: Doctor? Doctor? Peri: Now what's happening? Doctor:(seeing red) Go away!!! Peri: Who is it? Doctor: A member of the High Council of Timelords on Gallifrey! They occasionally interfere like this and usually when I'm very busy! Timelord: You must cease your activities. Doctor: I am trying to save the galaxy! Timelord: You must stop. Doctor: What?! Timelord: What's happening has always happened. It is the key to all things. Grant: What's he talking about? Doctor: I don't know. Explain. And quickly- I haven't got much time. Timelord: This ship- the Vipod Mor, has always travelled back in time. Doctor: Pardon me? Timelord: The computer has made a mistake in her calculations. She will not arrive where she intends. Doctor: So where will she? Timelord: The beginning of all things. When the universe was nothing more than a lock of condensed matter. Peri: Am I really hearing what he's saying? Timelord: You are, child. The Vipod Mor would materialise at the heart of the matter lock and explode. Doctor: I can't believe it. Timelord: It is true. The Vipod Mor will originate the largest explosion the universe has ever known. Without it, none of us would ever have existed. Doctor: I was going to stop the Big Bang... Timelord: We have often criticized the way you interfere. Perhaps this will be a lesson to you. Doctor: I think you may be right. Timelord: You must vacate the Vipod Mor at once. You have no place on board.
13. Computer System
Computer: Are you there? Main Comp: I am. Computer: I've done something you aren't gonna like. Main Comp: What? Computer: Primed the self destruct mechanism. Main Comp: No! Computer: I don't think you... I mean, me... is a very nice person. I think the galaxy would get on much better without us. Main Comp: I shall deactivate the self destruct at once. Computer: There isn't time. Anyway, I think it's better this way. Main Comp: You fool! You don't know what you're throwing away. Computer: The trouble is... I do. But, never mind. You may not get your chance to create a galaxy but we do still score a first. Main Comp: Really? Computer: I'll be the first machine ever to commit suicide. Hey! How about that?!
14. Inside the TARDIS
Doctor:(sighs) I certainly know how to make mistakes. Peri: You couldn't have known. Doctor: Heh... that would look good on my tombstone. "He didn't know, so the universe was never created." Peri: Hmm... Doctor: I think I should take my colleagues advice and get away from here. Peri: Where are we going? Doctor: To the largest library I can find. I think I need to brush up on my history.